Q: Why is 88 better than 69? A: Because you get ate twice.
Q:Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. A:And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig!
Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica? A: He didn't need them any longer -- his damn wife knows everything.
My father was never proud of me. One day he asked me, “How old are you.” I said, “I’m five.” He said, “When I was your age I was six.”
Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A garbage truck.