My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.
It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.