Must tell Husband jokes

Four words to depress a husband:

What four words are guaranteed to depress a husband anytime, anywhere?
'Hold my purse honey.'




Husband – He’s still celebrating:

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king –moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that man? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him and I said no."
Husband says: "Yep, it looks like he’s still celebrating!!"




Good News Bad news Terrible news:

Good news: Your wife won’t talk to you.
Bad news: She wants a divorce.
Terrible news: She’s a lawyer…




 Boy all in Black – Wededing ceremony:

A little boy looks at his mom at a wedding and says, “Mommy, why is the girl dressed all in white?”
His mom replies, “The girls is called a bride and she is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”
The boy nods and then asks, “OK, and why is the boy all in black?”



How much I would miss you………:

If you and I were on a sinking ship, and there was but one life vest... I cannot express how much I would miss you.




Husband – I barely know the woman:

A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her … Why can’t you do the same?”
husband:“Are you mad? I barely know the woman!”




 Husband – I would go live with your sister too…:

A husband asks his wife:

If I died, would you marry again?

Oh darling, of course I wouldn’t. I’d go and live with my sister. And if I died, would you remarry?

No, I think I’d go and live with your sister too.





 why God, after having created Man, lives forever:

They say a minute of laughter adds five minutes to your life.
That explains why God, after having created Man, lives forever.



















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