Corporate Jokes : Office humour


Executing your command:

Manager to his subordinate:
– What are you doing here?
– Executing your command.
– But I haven’t told you anything.
– So and I do nothing.

 

 Save the energy :

Client:
– Yesterday I have bought an energy saving bulb in your shop, returned home, but it does not work.
– It should not, it saves energy.

 

 

 

 

Why did you leave your last job?

Why did you leave your last job?
Company relocated and didn’t tell me where…

 

 

 Heights of Corporate Torture:

 

A company employee went to TOILET.

As he sat on the seat on front wall was written:

“Had u put the same pressure at work, company’s targets would have been achieved today”

Amazing reply by employee – if you apply such pressure what comes out will always be shit

 

 

 

Job Available for Accounting Position:

Accountant1: I’m here for the accounting position

Boss: what’s 2+2?

Accountant1: 4

Boss: get out

Sad, disappointed, and a little confused, the accountant slowly leaves the office. Then a new, fresh accountant comes in.

Accountant2: hey I’m here for the accounting position

Boss: what’s 2+2?

Accountant2: 4

Boss: get out.

Just as confused as accountant1, number 2 leaves thinking that if the boss is that stupid he doesn’t want to work there anyways. On the way out, a new accountant walks into the office.

Accountant3: hi, I’m here for accounting position

Boss: what’s 2+2?

Accountant3: anything you want it to be.

Boss: you’re hired.

 

 

 

start the presentation with a joke! :

“My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke!”

So I put my payslip on the first slide!

 

 

  Interview with a journalist:

A quote from an interview with the head of a growing company. Journalist asks:
– So how many employees are working in your company?
– Approximately half of them…

 

 

 

Client at a bank:

A client comes to a bank:
– My cheque was returned with a remark: “Insufficient funds”. I’d like to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank?

 

 

 

Here’s your salary. Keep this confidential! :

 Boss during appraisal – Here’s your salary. Keep this confidential!
Employee – Don’t worry. I am equally ashamed of it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s