When food gets naughty:Food Jokes


 

What candy do you eat on the playground?

Q: What candy do you eat on the playground?

A: Recess pieces.

 

 

What did the apple say to the almond?

What did the apple say to the almond?

You’re Nuts!

 

 

 

Is onion  the only food that makes you cry:

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

 

 

 

There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone :

A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?” “That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

 

 

 

God is Watching:

 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large tray of apples. The nun posted a sign on the apples tray, “Take only one. God is watching.”

Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

 

 

 

How come oysters never donate to charity?

Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.

 

 

 

An Apple A Day:

Jake came rushing in to see his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?”

“That’s what they say,” said his Dad.

“Well, give me an apple quick ? I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”

 

 

 

What did the baby corn say to it’s mom?

Q: What did the baby corn say to it’s mom?

A: Where is pop corn?

 

 

 

What kind of keys do kids like to carry?

Q: What kind of keys do kids like to carry?

A: Cookies!

 

 

 

 

Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?

Q: Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
A: So they can take bubble baths.

 

 

 

We are all human beans:

A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence.

“My father grows beans,” said one girl.

“My mother cooks beans,” said a boy.

A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”

 

 

 

What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit?

Q: What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit?

A: A hot dog.

 

 

 

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