Great Comedian Jokes


Oliver Hardy: ‘Didn’t you once tell me that you had an uncle?’
Stanley: ‘Sure, I’ve got an uncle. Why?’
Oliver: ‘Now we’re getting somewhere. Is he living?’
Stanley: ‘No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.’
Oliver: ‘Was he building a house?’
Stanley: ‘No, they were hanging him.’




My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we don’t know where the hell she is.’

Ellen DeGeneres




‘I like to play chess with old men in the park, although it’s hard to find 32 of them.’

Emo Phillips






The wife’s mother said: ‘When you’re dead, I’ll dance on your grave.’
I said: ‘Good. I’m being buried at sea.’

Les Dawson






A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.’

Bill Murray




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